Sunday, July 31, 2016

Trump Vows To Dump US State Dept; Open US Dept of Sex


1996 Melania Trump photo by Ale de Basseville


(MarketsMuse Exclusive)- Donald Trump, the GOP Presidential Nominee announced today “Because our foreign policy is such a disaster, during my first 100 days as President, I will not only build a really big wall along the Mexico border, I hereby vow to shut the U.S. Department of State until someone can figure out what the heck is going on with our foreign policy and at the same time, I will appoint my wife and First Lady Melania Trump to sit on my staff as Secretary and lead a newly-created US Department of Sex.” Mr. Trump vowed this would be a Cabinet-level role and “unlike every money-losing US Government agency, my new department will be “profitable starting day one!”

In a series of 140-character tweets pushed out late Saturday night by Donald Trump after the NY Post revealed (sic) uncovered the plan, the Republican candidate eviscerated the foreign policy strategy initiatives of the Obama administration and declared, “Let’s face it folks, #SEX is the ultimate influencer when it comes to global diplomacy. All of the world’s great leaders have been swayed by legions of  Eastern European models and consorts, and Melania is well-trained to lend a hand to my administration, trust me!.”

Added Trump, ” We will immediately reward the vast number of under-educated white males in our country who have been so cheated by the rigged system and whose votes are so important to our country!” Trump went further to state ” I hereby pledge that my wife Melania will administer hand jobs to every single uneducated white male who votes for me in the national election.” In a follow-up tweet, Trump stated, “These will be the GREATEST hand jobs ever administered, and you can trust me when I make this promise!”

Despite the fact that Mr. Trump has been a direct party to more than 3700 civil law suits during his business career, he insists that the promise to have his wife perform manual sex on under-educated white male voters is “a legal contract that I swear on my son Baron’s head, is a binding agreement that I will co-sign and one that I will not breach and she will not breach!”

In a late-breaking tweet made Sunday morning, Donald Trump said “This promise does not have to be limited to only under-educated white males, Melania will also provide manual sex to any woman who votes for me! This proves that I truly love and respect all women!”

Trump advisor Paul Manafort confirmed that “Donald Trump’s plan to create a revenue-producing US Federal Department of Sex could easily wipe out trillions in US national debt within the first two years of a Trump administration.”

Steve Mnunchin (c) Trump Finance Head
Steve Mnunchin, a former Goldman Sachs partner who was recently appointed National Finance Chairman to the Trump Campaign stated, “Winning and making money and making America great again is our focus. Many people on Wall Street know that Melania is a perfect role model who can lend her own hands to lead a profitable US Government initiative that can wipe out the national debt in a few easy strokes! Mnunchin added, I personally hope that other Trump family members will want to join in this program!”

To continue reading, click here

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I Will Endorse Trump If He Invokes #ISIStheDonkey Killshot

From: Bernald L. Madoff
To: Donald J. Trump
cc: Ivanka Trump
cc: Eric Trump
cc: Donald Trump, Jr. 

RE: My Endorsement

Dear Donald- Against better judgement, trust me when I say that I will endorse you re: campaign to be President if you endorse and implement the following:

How Trump Head-F%*K Strategy Can Pork ISIS Brand 

Linguist Kill Shot Should Be Used To Defeat D’Aesh Terrorist Gang; Word Association 201: Insert Offensive Phrase in front of Adversary Name to Defeat Them. Trust Me.

#ISIStheDonkey and #PorkISIS will prove to be the anti-brand strategy that defeats Islamic Extremist Organization

Say what you want about Donald Trump—which is exactly his strategy—he wants his name to be repeated constantly. Rinse Repeat. Rinse Repeat. This is a text book branding technique that has been used by marketers as well as PR and IR professionals since time began.  And, as Donald Trump has proven, by inserting a negative or offensive phrase in front of the “brand name” (e.g. “Lying Ted”, “Little Marco” “Cheating Hilary”), any neuroscientist will confirm that this strategy is a highly-effective bullying technique that will quickly and effectively lead to wide-scale negative association with that person (or product).

Scott Adams, the prolific author, the creator of the Dilbert comic strip (and a trained hypnotist) has repeatedly framed Trump’s linguistic judo style for being a uniquely effective strategy to undermine his adversaries. And, let’s face it, throughout the GOP primary campaigns, every time Trump has incorporated a negative phrase in front of respective opponents’ first name, those opponents ultimately and handedly lost their respective battle to win. Hey, as Charlie Sheen will confirm, its all about winning. Period. Nothing else matters when in life and death battles.

Taking a page from that playbook, one can only wonder why the presumptive GOP presidential candidate has not invoked that same technique whenever he’s called on to address his foreign policy strategy and in particular, how he would one destroy one the most barbaric group of terrorists to occupy the planet since the days of the Huns.*  (*Not intended to discount the Nazi’s from the list of most barbaric terrorists!)

Instead of Trump and his Trumpeteers banging President Obama for “erring on the side of caution” by not invoking the phrase “Islamic Extremist,” and instead of accusing the political correct crowd for mincing words by using the phrase “ISIL”, as opposed to the acronym ending with “S” that group works so hard to advance recognition and credibility, Trump is arguably best positioned to establish a new naming convention that should be Rinsed and Repeated by every influencer who has an audience; government spokespeople, faith leaders (particularly moderate Muslim leaders), media pundits, and journalists who get the joke that their job is only safe as long as they live in a free and open society.  Case in point, moderate Muslim leaders throughout the Middle East refer to this group as D’aesh, not one of the two, four-letter acronyms used by Westerners. The phrase D’aesh is considered to be a negative connotation, and according to many real Mid-East experts, it is a polarizing term that diminishes the relevance and importance of that particular group, and is a straight slap-in the face.

In as much as some will argue the targets of this strategy will retort with “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, the fact of the matter is that linguistic kill shots can be amazingly effective. So, we advocate introducing one of the following two phrases whenever, however and irrespective of medium to substitute their current phraseology with:

#ISIStheDonkey  A large universe of Arab Muslims subscribe to the notion that donkeys are the lowest form of animal life. By using this new phrase to the point when it becomes ubiquitous, taking Scott Adams thesis one step further, those who might have aspired to join this group will have no interest to do so, and those who have already aligned with this group will, by sheer humiliation alone, reject their allegiance and revert back to their original roots. When tweeting, please remember to include # in front!

#PorkISIS—Easier to pronounce, a fun play on Western vernacular and requires fewer characters when tweeting. Self-explanatory association; Muslims (just like religious Jews) do not eat pork, and the more zealous universe of Muslims believe those who do eat pork are committing blasphemy against the Koran. By associating Pork along-side the current four letter acronym used by these maniacal barbarians to identify themselves, this is a Double Linguistic Kill Shot.
Feel free to share this. And, #PorkISIS. Or simply call it what it is: #ISIStheDonkey.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Madoff To Testify re: "Art of Bernie's Bookkeeping"

Yes, the headline to this story is true. I'm on my way to redemption and if there is anything that I can do for the trustee and/or the 'casualties' of what I have already acknowledged as being a Ponzi scheme, I am happy to help. Trust Me.

"..The liquidating trustee for Bernie Madoff's defunct securities firm agreed on Monday to allow the convicted Ponzi schemer to talk to lawyers for Madoff investors about certain bookkeeping practices at the firm, a move Irving Picard, the trustee for the Madoff bankruptcy case, had previously opposed...."

For the full story from Law360, click here

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Litigants Barred From Double Dipping in Madoff Claim Pool

It didn't require the wisdom of Antonin Scalia to rule against plaintiffs who have been pursuing my pal Jeff Picower's remaining billions as part of the Mad Hunt to Pursue Madoff Claims. All it took was a federal bankruptcy court judge in New York to realize that double-dipping in the claim pool is no more politically correct than visiting the Boca Rio buffet table more than 3 times on any given Sunday night.

(REUTERS) Victims of Bernard Madoff's fraud cannot pursue a Florida lawsuit to recover $11 billion from the estate of Jeffry Picower, who they say helped perpetuate the swindler's Ponzi scheme, a Manhattan bankruptcy judge ruled on Wednesday.

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Stuart Bernstein said the lawsuit by A&G Goldman Partnership and Pamela Goldman, their third effort to sue in Florida, violated an injunction barring Madoff victims from pursuing claims belonging to Irving Picard, the trustee liquidating Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC.Bernstein oversees the Madoff firm's liquidation.

Picard had in December 2010 won a $7.2 billion settlement with the estate of Picower, who died in October 2009.But a slew of litigation ensued from Madoff customers, including many who say the trustee undervalued their claims, against Picower and other alleged enablers of Madoff. Picard has estimated that Madoff's victims lost $17.5 billion in the fraud, which was uncovered in December 2008.

In the latest Florida case, the Goldman parties added claims that Picower "propped up" Madoff's fraud with $200 million of loans to fund investor redemptions, and agreed to serve in trading records as a counterparty for many fake options trades.

The Goldman parties sought to hold Picower responsible for "all $18 billion" of Madoff customers' losses, less the $7.2 billion from the 2010 settlement.Bernstein nevertheless found it "wholly conclusory" to allege that Picower helped Madoff distribute fake statements to customers, and had enough "control" over the swindler to justify separate litigation.

He also said allowing the Florida lawsuit "would carry real risks" to the Madoff firm's bankruptcy estate, encouraging more lawsuits and perhaps undermining the $7.2 billion accord.

Bernstein nonetheless rejected efforts by Picower's widow Barbara, who oversees his estate, and other parties associated with Picower to stop further lawsuits by the Goldman parties, while saying "the question is close."

The judge said the Goldman parties have not pursued frivolous or vexatious litigation, and that the Picower parties or Picard could seek sanctions if they crossed the line.

A spokeswoman for Picard declined to comment. Lawyers for the Picower entities and the Goldman parties were not immediately available for comment.
The case is Securities Investor Protection Corp v. Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District of New York, No. 08-01789.