#Madoff Musings

To: Rick Perry
From: Bernie

Sorry to say this, but I couldn't keep from peeing my pants while watching last night's CNBC presidential candidate debate..My pal Junior (Persico) insisted we were really watching SNL when you couldn't remember the third agency you would get rid of "when" you get elected.

I can understand wanting to do away with corrupt, bloated-budget government bureaucracies that accomplish no social value to society, but targeting the Dept of Education as one of the two of three that you can actually remember in your plan is, in all due little respect, going to result in your donors forgetting to add that third digit in their checks. So, when you see checks coming in for $10 instead of $100, don't be surprised. 

Instead of getting rid of the Dept of Energy (the one that supposed to regulate the destruction of our environment and prevent your oil company friends from drilling off the coast of East Hampton and Nantucket), you might want to simply get rid of the SEC.

Let's face it, nobody knows better than me that SEC is 100% controlled by Wall Street banks; so instead of taxpayers bearing the cost of the bloated SEC staff salaries, computer systems that don't work, all of those offices, and all of those costly investigations that result in settlements where bankers promise "not to do it again", let's shift the entire cost of self-regulation back on to the banks.  The same crimes are going to be committed, but now we'll save hundreds of millions every year in tax dollars! Ha!
BLM

On a general note: if we are going to keep the SEC, now that John Corzine isn't running MF Global, I'm thinking he's the most logical person to replace Mary Shapiro over at SEC when she moves over to Goldman. But Not Treasury. This guy was way to quick to peel into investor accounts so that he could buy "triple A" Euro bonds for his own account. And no, I don't plan on inviting him to join our bridge game here anytime soon. The chances of him actually getting prosecuted are zilch. That's the way it works.

(But I won't be surprised if that guy from Interactive Brokers gets hit with insider trading charges--nobody on the Street likes him...and if he was dumb enough to be buying MF Global for his own account while his company was considering 'rescuing' that company, I suppose its all poetic justice...)

For you restaurant fans that want to protest Mario Batali's places--I suppose you can go over to Primola, even if the guy that runs the place is a a piece of sh*t and badmouths customers while they're sitting right in the restaurant. How do I know? Because that's where Ruthie and I would eat 5 nights a week and its not like I don't understand "jew bastard" just because its said in Italian! But like I said, the food is good!