#Madoff End-of-Year Musings and Choco-Wasabi Peas for 2012!

Yeah, I know that some of you loyalists are miffed that you haven't heard from me in a few days, but if you had half a brain, you'd have already subscribed to my private newsletter, which I put out every two days!

But, after those people at CNBC asked me to do an exclusive interview and share my reflections about what happened in 2011, and to provide some thoughts about what's in store for 2012, I figured that I'd reach a bigger audience through my blog, so here goes: 

From where I'm sitting, nothing much happened in 2011 that should have surprised anyone, other than maybe Momo Gadaffi and a few other knucklehead camel jockeys that didn't get the memo:  "High-Rise Luxury Condos in Manhattan Are Your Next Great Investment!"

Sure, the "Arab Spring" caught a bunch of people by surprise. Who would have thought that Twitter, the distribution channel for my new fav "JewAmerPrincess", would have been the weapon of mass destruction for half the Arab world's leaders, or that it would have been used to inspire that other ridiculous carnival, "Occupy Wall Street"?

Arab Spring? Give me a f**king break! And while we're at it, somebody should stick a sock in Anderson Cooper's mouth. Nothing good for the world has come from those overthrows, other than provide a back door to every wild-eyed, radical Islamic fundamentalist who thinks they're going to spend their after life in a bordello filled with a thousand 14 year-old virgins!

[Note to: Anderson Cooper--enough already with your latest, f**king all-night-long segments about "what's going on in Syria"! We don't care! More to the point, if you've done a "before and after" look at what's happened in Afghanistan, Iraq, Egypt, Libya, and all of those other places, you'd realize that everyone in the US, not to mention all of those poor bastards living in those God-forsaken places in the deserts, are better off when those countries are being run by dictators and despots! Now that they're gone, that whole part of the map is like a scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest! And trust me, its only going to get worse, not better.

Next: 2011's Financial Markets and Global Economy. You don't have to have Asberger's to know that I've called just about every major move in stocks, currencies and commodities throughout this past year. 600 pt swings in the Dow, $200 swings in Gold, the big up move in oil. I even picked the right entry price for people wanting to buy $1million or smaller pieces of the "Madoff SIPC claims."

My secret? I don't buy and sell individual stocks. All of the shenanigans that corporate CEO's like to pull make it almost impossible to avoid an after-the-close headline that causes the stock to crater. Instead, I trade markets, which trend and trade in cycles. Period.

Other than front-runners and people with real inside information (including the dolts in Congress that I outed 3 months before 60 Minutes even got the story), any idiot that claims to be able to forecast stock prices based on projected earnings, competitive position, housing starts, retail sales, or any other economic indicator is full of sh*t.  That's why I'm only trading ETFs and writing options. Every once in a while, I'll do some variance swaps when I'm confident about the direction of volatility. And, I'm only going to execute through an agency execution firm that knows how to get the right price, as opposed to letting Schwab or Fidelity rape me by delivering shitty executions from brokers that are paying them kick backs for order flow.

In 2012, the equity markets will trade in a 12%-15% range. Interest rates won't move much, although muni-bond yields are probably going to widen out starting in Q2, after we finally start seeing some real calamities. Oil will trade between 80-110 and even though every fat cat loaded up on gold in 2011, if the world does come to end, what the f*ck is anyone going to do with it?  BTW...anybody that buys stock in the FaceBook IPO would be better off buying a truckload of toilet paper.

Presidential Election Outlook. Here we are again, with the GOP putting on a show that would be better produced by Lorne Michaels over at SNL. Unless Bin Laden rise from the dead, President Obama is going to be re-elected. If the polls put the Republicans ahead in the final stretch, he'll have Joe Biden switch seats with Hillary Clinton to clinch the election.

White Collar Prosecutions: Business will be as usual; the keystone cops will keep chasing the horses after they get out of the barn, and the crooks with clout will simply grease their pals in Congress to keep them out of jail. Can you spell C-O-R-Z-I-N-E?

The SEC's new software that "roots out" hedge funds that are out-performing their peers? Aside from the fact this new strategy will result in dozens of defamation lawsuits brought by those that legitimately perform better than the average wonks that charge 2 & 20, Ron Paul's idea about closing half-a-dozen government agencies should include the SEC, not the EPA..and certainly not the Dept of Education!

Mary Shapiro is going to be working at BofA, or maybe MorganStanley before the end of 2012. Verizon IS  going to roll-back the $2 fee for paying bills by credit card..just like the idiots at those banks that announced, and then rolled back plans to add those ridiculous and egregious account fees after hundreds of thousands of customers moved their accounts to credit unions. What? You think these big companies will ever learn not to make stupid mistakes that burn their brand images? Ha!

Everybody, including Ruthie, Shana, and Andy's shiksa goddess tells me that Chocolate-Covered Wasabi Beans will be the "cupcake" of 2012. How do I know that they're right? I hear that Sable's is already carrying them, and Andy tells me that Primola is going to get rid of those stale dessert cookies, and serve these tasty items starting next month!

Last..at least for this update, I'm going to introduce a suite of apps for mobile devices. I can't tell you what those apps will do, but its going to be killer stuff!

Happy New Year to all, and to all, a good night!
BLM