To: B. Madoff
Dad:
What with Cathy's book sales lagging somewhat, I need your mailing list so that we can promote a billion-dollar idea for a product line that we'll be selling under the Black Umbrella brand. We've already licensed the right to manufacture (see the prototypes images below) the solution to all of the noise being created around the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) legislation, and it'll be "killer."
I'm actually taking a page out of your playbook--the one that prohibited any electronic communication between you and the firm's investors. I'll admit that you were brilliant about this; if I had used email to ask you about all of those trades with out-sized profits that showed up in my personal trading account, Picard's people would still have me peeing my pants! (If only Picower et al had taken your lead, I'm sure they wouldn't have been so quick to settle on that $7bil! lol)
In any case, Cathy and I are convinced that the below umbrella version, the peer-to-peer version, and the corporate version will capture a major share of the $50 billion/year on-line privacy product and security solutions marketplace. EVERYBODY is going to want to have at least one of these babies!
How do I know? We've already got $500,000 in orders from hedge fund homies who are worried about that guy Makol showing up for pancakes, and Herman Cain says he wants to buy a distributorship! The most exciting part is that Newt Gingrich stopped by Mom's place during his first stop in Florida today, and he's offered to endorse our products in a series of ad campaigns with the tag line: "If you want to talk about an open marriage, keep it a closed discussion!"
If you can get Ike on board to promote it to the legal industry, we'll give him shares in the company at the founder's price--and we'll even outfit his new office with the Umbrella version..I'd have to believe that your pal Junior would order a truck load for his "family", right?
Hope you're having fun!
Andy
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